Sunday, April 5, 2015


Oh God, my God. Please come near. God of Jacob, God of my parents and family, please draw near.

God, I need to know that you hold me and cherish me and call me yours, even now.

God my mind, it envelopes me and it overwhelms. God, good and faithful God, it's 2 am on Sunday, the Sunday where we await your resurrection anxiously but I can't help but think of everything but you, God. 

Instead my mind wages wars against me and I cannot move what I believe to be true about you into my heart.

God, my God, please draw near and lend your listening ear.

God, the words of Paul come to mind. Please take them as an offering:

" I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me." (Romans 7:15-23 NIV)

Lord, please forgive me. Lord please take me, shape me and redeem me.

In your name.

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